A Nonsense of Occasion
by lissianne
Summary: From the prompt, a sense of occasion. I planned a sweet and emotional story of Sharon's birthday. Then this happened. Drawn from real life because I have awesome sons, super cool friends and a volatile relationship with autocorrect.


I own nothing of Major Crimes. I only borrow the characters from time to time.

A BAMDAMMMster prompt for A Sense of Occasion.

A Nonsense of Occasion

Andy tapped his fingers on the steering wheel as he waited on the traffic light to turn green. He glanced at Sharon, who was staring out of the window.

"You're awfully quiet tonight," he said.

"Hmm," she replied.

She was lost in an unexplainable melancholy feeling. It had settled in and enveloped her, much like the fog that settles along the coastline in June.

It was Friday, they were off for the weekend. She would usually be excited at the prospect of a weekend off and more time to spend with Andy. She let out a sigh. Tomorrow was her birthday. While she isn't one to like attention, she thought at least one person in the department would wish her a happy day. She was big on the sense of occasion for her team. She always made sure she acknowledged milestone events with a cake, a card, or a personal gift.

She decided she was overly sensitive, tired and hungry. She would feel better after dinner.  
"What do you want to do tomorrow?" she asked, trying to lift her spirits.

"Um, about tomorrow, I have … things….."

"Things?"

"But, hey, I'd like to take you out for breakfast… you know for your birthday."

"Breakfast? Hmm, at least you remembered." She said, "If you have such important things, maybe we should skip it altogether,"

"No, no, I have time for breakfast," he tried to sound upbeat, "how about it?"

"Fine." She said as she turned her attention to whatever was outside of her passenger window.

One thing his experience with women taught him was if a woman says fine, it's really not fine at all.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

They were leaving the restaurant when his phone pinged for a text.

He opened the car door for her and replied to the text.

It pinged again as he started the car. RUSTY: omg TMI!

Puzzled, he scrolled up to his reply: Just leaving the restaurant. Will do Sharon at the condo by 11 and then I'm going home.

He stifled a snicker, and replied: Drop Sharon at the condo. Not do… damn phone.

He walked Sharon to her door, "well, I guess since I'll be here early, I should go."

She shrugged, "Come in for coffee if you like. I have decaf."

"I was just thinking, since it was late…"

"Fine."

There was that word again. "Since it was late, decaf is an excellent idea."

As they sat on the sofa drinking coffee, Sharon's phone pinged with a text.

RUSTY: I'm going to be late. The movie just got over and we're getting something to eat. So don't wait up. Just go to sleep now.

SHARON: Why do you want me to go to sleep? You never say that. What's going on?

RUSTY: Nothing, just concerned about you getting enough rest and you don't need to wait up on me. I mean, you don't usually, so why start now, right?

Sharon showed her phone to Andy.

"He's up to something." She said nodding her head, "who does he think he's dealing with here?"

"Now, Sharon, I'm sure everything is okay. Rusty's right," he patted her arm, "you do need your sleep."

While he tried to deflect her glare, he wondered why Rusty had to be such a dumb ass.

"When will you be here in the morning?" she asked.

"I'll surprise you," he said holding up his key and quirking his brows.

He gave her a quick hug and a kiss at the doorway, "see you tomorrow."

"Fine." She said with a sigh.

Sharon looked at her watch as she pulled a blanket across her feet. She sat in a chair facing the doorway. Mr. Beck would not find her asleep when he decided to come home.

As the clocked chimed 1 am the door quietly opened. Rusty jumped and shut the door quickly behind him. "Mom, umm, I thought you'd be asleep."

"You thought wrong." She said flatly.

"Um, well, you really should go to bed. I mean it's late and all."

"I'm touched at your concern over my sleeping habits, but something is up."

She got up and gave him a hug and a long look in the eyes.

"Oh my gawd, Sharon, you think I'm drunk… or high." Rusty exclaimed.

She didn't say another word, but her silent stare caught him off guard.

"Goodnight Rusty," she said as she closed the door of her room.

She had settled into bed when her phone pinged. A broad smile spread across her face. Periodically through the night, she swore she heard conversation coming from Rusty's room. She dismissed it as the television and turned her attention to the text conversation she was having. She broke out in laughter so loud from time to time, she was certain she would wake Rusty.

In a few short hours, she awoke to the smell of coffee. Rusty was a thoughtful kid, always starting the coffee before he left for the day.

She stumbled down the hallway wearing her black yoga pants, oversized Green Bay Packers jersey, fuzzy hot pink socks and her hair in what was left of a messy bun. Unfortunately, it had worked itself loose in various places leaving unruly tresses sticking out all over. Her eyes were swollen and red from the lack of sleep. She let out a loud yawn and stretched as she rounded the corner to the kitchen. She was surprised at the sight awaiting her.

Andy was pouring himself a second cup of coffee when he laid eyes on her.

"I take it you emptied a wine bottle or two last night."

"Why do you say that?" She asked, rubbing her eyes.

"Just a guess."

"Well, you are wrong. My friend, Melinda, wanted to be the first to wish me happy birthday and we wound up texting most of the night."

He poured her a cup and made himself comfortable at the dining room table.

"I wasn't expecting you this early." She said.

"I said I would surprise you."

"You certainly did that." She said.

"Touche," he replied.

"I thought Rusty was making coffee or I would have changed."

"You let Rusty see you like this?" he motioned his hands up and down.

She sat down across from him, plopping her fuzzy covered feet in his lap.

"I'm surprised they haven't gotten you for child abuse." He mumbled.

"What did you say?" she asked, knowing he knew better than to repeat himself.

He put on his dark framed glasses and opened the newspaper. She studied him as she peeled an orange.

"What?" he asked, looking over the top of his glasses.

"You really should wear those more often." She said as she broke apart her orange, "You look exceptionally sexy."

"You look exceptionally sexy when you wear yours too. I don't think the world could take this much sexy together," he laughed.

"But I'm not wearing mine now," she said.

"I know," he smirked.

Somewhere in that comment, she was certain there was a jab about her appearance. It is my birthday, I can look however I want, she thought as she sucked the juice from the orange slice.

"You know they have juice in cartons now." Andy said.

"I enjoy sucking the juice right out of the slice, so leave me alone."

He couldn't help but smile. She was sexy no matter what she wore or what she did and the best part was she had no idea.

She put her cup in the sink, "I'm going to take a shower."

Andy turned to see Rusty's bedroom door crack open. Jumping up, he grabbed her arm and spun her around. He kept her back to Rusty's door by keeping her in a tight hug.

"Ok, you can let go now," she squirmed.

"I just missed you so much, can't I be affectionate?" he said as he pulled the bobby pins from her hair.

"Then join me in the shower. I guarantee you won't be lonely," she fluffed her unruly waves with her fingers.

Andy looked up and said, "uh…no."

"Fine," she said as she turned on her heels.

Standing behind her, Rusty, Emily and Ricky were each holding a sign Happy -Birthday -Mom, their eyebrows raised and mouths open.

After the momentary shock of hearing their mother proposition the lieutenant, screams, jumping and hugs ensued.

After breakfast, Emily asked Andy to join them for dinner that evening.

"I have to attend to some things, but I'll try to make it." Andy said as he gave Sharon a peck on the cheek.

"Fine," Emily replied as she gave him a subtle wink.

Andy received a text from Provenza as he got on the elevator: I sent everyone messages to remind them about tonight on the facebook thing. I hope it went through.

Andy texted back.

Provenza: I suppose it depends on how horny and how fast those pedestrians were walking.

What? Andy thought as he scrolled up. He shook his head : It's supposed to read, it would be more reliable to send messages by homing pigeons not horny pedestrians. Damn phone.

Andy decided it would be best to give Provenza a call. "The kids pulled off the surprise. She didn't know what hit her." He laughed, "how are you doing on the list?'

"Patrice is taking care of the wine. She took her friend Allison to the winery with her. She said Alli is a wine expert and will pick the best."

"Great. I just talked to Amie, the party coordinator at the restaurant. She assured me the entertainment is booked. Some famous singer, The Flawless Ms De and her guitarist, Kate are doing a private concert for us."

"Have you gotten her gift from the department yet?" Provenza asked.

"My brother's wife, Ashley, is a football fanatic. She is checking with her connections to get Green Bay Packers tickets." Andy added, "Since you're close, would you stop at Margaret's bakery and get the cake"

Fifteen minutes later, Andy's phone buzzed.

"Margaret wants to know if you want the extra whipped cream coming out of the top of the penis cake or just drizzled down the sides," Provenza said as he failed miserably at stifling a laugh.

"I ordered a pineapple cake with extra cream cheese frosting." Andy said as he palmed his forehead.

"You should read your texts before you send them, because you ordered a penis cake." Provenza almost felt sorry for him. "It's under control, but Margaret says you owe her big time."

Sharon arrived at the restaurant with her children dressed in a short black lace dress and her Jimmy Choo heels. Amie escorted them to the banquet room where she was greeted with a hearty "surprise."

Fighting back the emotions, she allowed only a couple tears to escape down her cheeks. Julio was the first to hug her, "Happy Birthday, ma'am. See we do have a sense of occasion here."

She scanned the room, until she saw him. He wore his gray pin striped suit and his black framed glasses. She took a deep breath. Oh what that man does to her with a look and a smile.

After dinner and entertainment, the department gave her the Packers tickets. She was almost speechless with excitement. Ricky, Emily and Rusty handed her a package. She unwrapped it to find a framed collage of their pictures from infancy to now. Rusty didn't have many pictures, but what he had they copied and managed to photo shop him into some family pictures. Sharon couldn't contain her emotions any longer as the tears flowed freely.

Andy came up behind her and kissed her neck. He put a heart shaped necklace on her. It was ruby with small diamonds around the edge. She gave him a kiss in front of everyone which drew a thunderous applause.

As the evening was winding down, Provenza let her in on the cake fiasco. She sent Andy a text: Provenza tells me he had another cake delivered to the condo. Sounds like my kind of cake. ; )

She saw Andy smiling at her from across the room.

"So which is it going to be?" Andy asked when he put his arms around her. "You didn't answer my text."

She looked at her phone, "I don't have a text. What did it say?"

"Why would you need a cake when you have the real thing?" Provenza read. As he walked by, he snatched Andy's phone from his hand and tossed it in the trash. "Along with proofreading, you might want to check recipients too. Ye gawds, idiot."


End file.
